True You

 

In the shadows of the sun i see now why we never begun

through every burdened breath with every step

I never knew the true you

As time passed we played a game caught in a trance

Time passed without a chance

Apart we start to end the same

imagination outgrew what was really true

their was only two who never knew the truth

To say a tear has passed my eye would be a lie

confusion my only witness

moments of regret of time spent is not true

but I never knew you

yet a loss is felt and uncertainty dealt

with honest words all that is known

I miss you ?????

One more

The night air was crisp the world was silent as she contemplated over days past. One more drink just more will take the edge off maybe make things look brighter somehow. So she poured another glass turned her favorite movie on snuggled up in her soft blanket tipsy from the drink before. The phone rang she knew who it was and had sworn to never answer that call again. The night was lonely and she was tipsy as she thought ill answer just one more. The voice was familiar so many nights she had heard the roughness of it. What are you doing I want to come over she thought about the past few days of all that had gone so wrong and in that moment she had sealed her fate one more time. Yes come over, she brushed her hair put her favorite jeans on the ones she thought made her look the best. Rummaged through her drawers found the top she was looking for perfectly cut to fit her best she went back to the kitchen poured another drink and waited for him. She thought for a moment this is a mistake but brushed it off as she gulped down a stiff drink.

The doorbell didn’t ring he knew her well he came in as she sat the glass down he smiled at her she smiled back. He knew the affect he had on her. He walked to her his hand Brushed her cheek he took her in the kitchen ripping her jeans pulling the buttons from her shirt.

As he ripped her clothes from her body she thought what have I done. The smell of vodka from his breath she knew to well

he thrust her on the floor and took her with violence as he thrust into her he thought I wont you to feel my pain all of it the sounds of her screams he knew were pain and it pleasured him
As he finished he couldn’t fight the urge he wanted her to feel more to fear him.

All she could think through the pain is what have I done.

He picked her up sat her on the counter kissed her one last time as she fought to get away he grabbed the kitchen knife and thrust. It into her as her eyes swelled with pain and her naked body crumpled he realized what he had done and so had she.

So did i

Once I was young innocence overcome
You thought you knew me
So did i

Pictures you draw of a person I am not
you thought you knew me
So did i

Sharing I cried upset by your disguise
To change me you tried
So did I

The mirror I faced sad above all disgraced
to change me you did
So did I

You left with no trace now lost with no face
You thought you knew me
so did I

Years become strangers nights that linger
To change me I tried
Who am I

Memories now stray moments of those days
Lost I had become
No longer I am

Strength has been found
you thought you knew me
I saved me

Price of a start

 

Words become daggers to an unwanted heart
Moments in time thrown to the side

We wanted waited
Only to be cast aside

Gamble of heart a losing hand
Winning so sure

Price two hearts never to be unhappily we part
Knowing we were all but doomed from the start

Fantasy it seems lust it may have been
love never shall it be

Once again a losing hand
Lonley companion time it shall be

Never right

Heart sinking worlds away I feel alone
Thoughts prayers
Secluded

tortured in pain hate hurt
torn
Minds hours days apart
What happened too these two hearts
Once understanding
Lost in complications
not suited from the start
meshed together burned and tattered
we leave these hearts

This night

Thoughts filled with what if
Hands touched fingertips caress
Eyes meet with uncertain lips
Look away fills the mind
What is this
Timid in the moment flushed crimson cheeks
thoughts are written in the twist of a lip
Anticipated this moment
Smiles awkward silence
too much to take in
this night awaited long overdue
How can how could this be so new

Pillows of clouds bodies lay down
Unsure yet convinced
Content
thoughts of uncertainty surround moments of bliss
Prolonged goodbyes
A fantasy long thought used

Was it to much to little to late
just enough
unknown anticipated
unsure awkward yet never so un numb